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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dangerous Dan's Diner :: 24-oz of Gluttonous Peril


Dangerous Dan's Diner has been on my to-go list for quite awhile. For 2 years in fact. Every time I suggest it, I get an enthusiastic response then at the last minute someone chickens out once they realize why it's called Dangerous Dan's. With combos named Quadruple C: Collosal Colon Clogger Combo and The Coronary Burger Special, I suppose I shouldn't really blame them. Wussies always punkin' out on me...grumble.

No bailing this time! I was both excited and nervous (for the food adventure and my health, respectively) about my long-anticipated visit to Double D.

Dangerous Dan's Diner
Verdict: Go for the gimmick, not for the quality
Meal: Dinner/Heart Attack Snack
Price: $25 for combo

Kitschy Diner Feel

Grabbing a seat on dirty Dodge Caravan seats didn't bother me as much as the distinct mildew-y smell of the tables. It reminded me of my friend's table, as he used the same, dirty rag to wipe it for many many months, and left it in a wet clump in the kitchen after each "cleaning". In the end, he was pretty much adding stink to the table after every meal. I suppose I'll chalk it up to the old-school diner charm. Upon arrival, the smell of the poutine covered it up and I forgot about it. Kinda.

So. Before we begin I'll stress that I went in knowing better than to expect a good burger. The Burger Bar disaster made me realize the value of acknowledging this beforehand to avoid an extreme letdown. I was going because I was in the area, I love burgers, and thought it'd be fun to try. I knew I wasn't getting a Grindhouse or W Burger Bar quality I'll judge it accordingly. I was going for a dirty greasy burger.

My obsession with peanut butter and fruit drew me to The Elvis:

The Elvis ($5.85)
Bacon, Peanut Butter and Fried Banana
Peanut Butter, Deep Fried Banana, @#$% ya!

It was exactly what we ordered - peanut butter slathered all over the place with bananas that were deep fried like no tomorrow. Thumbs up for not skimping on the peanut butter. Why is this worth noting? Because Burger Bar was skimpy on their toppings, and I will be using them as the "Burger Bar" for this post. Yep. Bad pun so intended. Insert face-palm.
The bun was quite burnt, and the patty was a little charred but I think that the next time I make my own burger...I might be slathering my own dose of peanut butter and banana in there. Better yet, bacon-wrapped bbq'ed plantain.

Quadruple C ($23.95)
24oz burger served with a quarter pound of cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, and 2 fried eggs.  Also comes with a large shake and a small poutine.

Now this is a combo
24-oz Burger
Quarter pound of cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, and 2 fried eggs  
No Competition: Burger Bar's "OMGTMJKM Burger" (oh my goodness this might just kill me) pales in comparison for both value ($18 for just a burger) and OMG-ness to Dangerous Dan's Quadruple C.

My fellow Double D'er did not enjoy the patty at all, but I didn't mind the overload of garlic in the ground beef. But I love garlicky flavours. My friends like to say it's because I'm Korean, and I'll admit that there may be some truth behind that. Jerks. Not saying that I particularly enjoyed it - I just didn't mind.

It wasn't pink in the middle like the OMGTMJKM Burger, but I wasn't expecting one from this greasy diner (hooray for lowered/reasonable expectations!). I was, however, pleasantly surprised that it was relatively juicy (again, my standards were set very low!). Either way, it was tastier than the greasy-dirty-diner patties I've had at US truck stops but still meh. It was super thick, so it was like eating meatloaf between two buns but I stubbornly made sure to start with a good dose of bacon, cheese, beef, bun, egg, tomato and pickle in one BIG bite to get the true Quad-C experience.

"Small" Poutine

I don't know if I was on a high from the chocolate shake or delusional from the 24-oz burger, but the cheese in this poutine was actually squeaky. Not crappy strings of mozzarella but squeaky curds. I was really surprised. Too bad it was smothered with very salty gravy and frozen fries - very a la high school cafeteria, as a heart-attack-snack buddy noted.
Large Chocolate Shake
This was like drinking chocolate ice cream! It was very chocolate-y, just like a tall cup of soft serve ice cream. Nice, thick, and huge. I actually really liked this. So much, in fact, that the fat kid inside of me squealed in joy and told me to continue the sugar rush at Ed's Real Scoop next door. I happily obliged. I need to learn to ignore my Fat Kid Personality...he's no good for my health!

At less than $6 for a standard burger and $25 for the crazy combo I'd say that DD is not a bad deal if you're looking for quantity over quality. Needless to say, it's not for the health conscious but for the daredevil eater. But I'm not going to lie - if I'm in the area with friends who want to try it, I've already decided on the The Big Kevorkian - Fried onion, fried mushrooms, 2 slices fried bacon, deep fried pickle, garlic dressing, mayo. Otherwise, I'll stick to smaller, but better made burgers at Grindhouse and W Burger Bar. Oh, and I want to go to Burger's Priest soon. And Citizen Burger. And Great Burger Kitchen. And Bamburger. And...omg shut the Fat Kid up.

Why go for Burger Bar's OMGTMJKM Burger when you might as well go all out with the Quadruple C combo? If you're going to be bad, do it right. Oh ya, and they do delivery in case if you want to eat this monstrosity in the comfort of your own home/emergency room.

Dangerous Dan's Diner
Verdict: Go for the gimmick, not for the quality
Meal: Dinner/Heart Attack Snack
Price: $25 for combo
Dangerous Dan's Diner on Urbanspoon


Chris ( said...

Curious question: did you finish the entire combo? ...

Erin said...

Burgers were finished - poutine and shake were not! I had to save room for ice cream!

Divya said...

I have never heard anyone refer to cheese as squeaky ...
loved the post ... now I am craving a burger

Anonymous said...

So brave, so very very brave!

Anonymous said...

Ironically, I've had the veggie burger there --I don't eat meat but used to live in the area and couldn't resist the taunt of this place. The burger was super greasy with beef stink but otherwise bland. The fries were most disappointing of all, fat and mushy. C'mon, if a place is going to bill itself on it's greasy, heart attack inducing fare, at least do it well! I'll admit that the shakes are good though, but honestly, how do you mess that up?

Erin said...

Oh CAN mess up a shake with crappy ice cream. I've had ones that have bits of ice in there or not enough chocolate :P. I'm pretty sure Dangerous Dans just melts a bucket of ice cream! And yes - fat, mushy fries...just like my high school cafeteria

HeagieDonald said...

I LOVE Dangerous Dan's! The Elvis being my absolute fave... so far! My son wants to get a job there, I can only hope!

Mike said...

Any reason you chose - "In the end, he was pretty much adding stink to the table after every meal." -as the summary for your review?  Doesn't seem to make sense, considering that comment was about your friend's stinky table - not Dangerous Dan's.

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